We all do it – place blame, that is. Indeed it’s common for us to look for the fault of others whenever something occurs that we see as wrong, offensive or damaging in some way.

A lot of people blame their parents for what is wrong in their life, their bosses for their lack of progress, or society as a whole for more global “problems.” But I think that placing blame and fault-finding are of themselves to “blame” for keeping us as individuals from moving forward.

By placing blame:

• We remain stuck where we are in life, and impede our own progress;
• We shift responsibility away from ourselves and our own success; and
• We become blind to solutions and possibilities for growth and change.

If you’d like to stop floundering in a pool of blame, then move past focusing on who is at fault in every situation.  Instead, look at what lessons you can learn from the choices that others make, and the impact that doing so has on them and others.

One of my first book writing ideas is on the subject of floundering – something we all do from time to time.

Days after coming up with this idea, I was having lunch with an Executive Director of a local non-profit. As soon as we were seated he said, “Dave, I could have used your help at a meeting I recently attended – I felt like a fish out of water!”

Since that time I’ve captured dozens of my thoughts on how we flounder. I will present those here under the category Stop Floundering, and will illustrate the ways in which we flounder, and strategies to improve.

Here’s the first installment.

The Flounder of Association

When I was a kid, I ran around with some unsavory characters. My mother didn’t like that and would always tell me – “You’re judged by the company you keep!” But like most kids, I wasn’t concerned about what people thought. And I didn’t know then what I know now, that there are other consequences from associating with the “wrong” people.

Fortunately, I don’t hang out with juvenile delinquents anymore. But I have associated with people who are negative, self-absorbed and unwilling to grow. These people impeded my progress, drained my energy and didn’t feel good to be around. As a result, I’ve made every effort to disassociate from them.

If you look at the people in your life, you’ll likely observe some who are not good for you.  I recommend that you “fish” these people out of your pond and replace them with those who are positive, nurturing and add value to your life. When you do this you’ll experience less stress, more balance and greater self-respect.