One of my jobs as a banker involved the management and sale of foreclosed real estate in the Phoenix metropolitan area.

The division I worked in was like a large dysfunctional family. At the management level we had the controlling father as President, and the co-dependent mother as the Executive Vice President. These two guys basically ran the show.

Like with all big families, there were lots of children running around the office that were better know as employees. Some seemed to fit well into the family, and some did not. That was probably more a function of their relationship with our “parents” than anything else. They either loved you, or wished you were never born. Fortunately, I was one of the fair-haired children most of the time. And although it was uncomfortable to see my less than favored siblings struggle, I was happy that it wasn’t me.

Within the bank it was no secret that our division was dysfunctional. And the mid-level people who were charged with fixing it were, quite frankly, inept. Their law degrees and MBA’s were no match for the issues of the day. What we needed was a family therapist.

One day while working in my office, there was a knock on the door. It was the bank’s human resource manager. He asked if he could speak with me for a moment, closed the door and sat down.

“You realize that there’s lots of turmoil in this division. That’s no secret to anyone.” I nodded, “Uh huh.” And then he said, “Whenever we (management) discuss who’s doing a good job, your name always comes up.” At this point I’m relieved because it’s not everyday that the HR manager visits you, and when he does, it’s usually not good.

He then asked, “What are you doing differently, that others are not?” I had to think about that for a minute, then looked down at a report that we routinely do for the President. It was a report that we had to do correctly, on time, each week even if our fingers fell off. It was THAT important. I looked back up and said, “I’ve figured out what’s important, and I do that.”

During tumultuous times, there are lots of things to distract us. But if you want to be successful, figure out what’s important, and then do that. For me, it’s taking care of my clients, attracting more and delivering the best possible coaching value that I can muster. Today, there’s nothing more important.

Once in a while we need to be reminded. What’s the most important thing that you can be doing?

It has been said that, “There can be change without progress, but not progress without change.”

When was the last time you were told to let go and move on when you were clinging to something that you needed to change or let go of?

Changing some things is easier than others. It depends on how strong an attachment we have to something, whether that’s through ego, emotion or uncertainty. Changing one’s mind when there isn’t much at stake can be rather simple. But when the perceived cost or risk of change is great, then change is more difficult.

When it comes to changing ourselves, the process can be daunting and emotional, but so can changing the direction of your company when a strategy isn’t working. In either case, change begins with a decision.

We’ve all observed those who are quick to decide on making changes. They appear more confident and seem to garner better results in pursuit of their goals. It doesn’t take much for them to decide that change is necessary.

On the other hand, there are those who agonize over the need to change, or more likely, deny that change is needed, even though the status quo isn’t working. As a result, they often stay stuck in an unproductive cycle and complain about their lack of progress. In these cases, it takes the proverbial two-by-four cracked over the head to create change.

We all have something that we know we need to change. Whether it’s in the way we do business, the direction we’re headed or in how we’re living everyday life. So ask yourself - “What do I need to change, and when am I going to do it?”

Although there’s no guarantee that quick changers make better decisions than those who need to be hit over the head, it does seem clear that when you know that a change is needed, quickly seems better than agony.

We all have them – bad habits that is. Or if they aren’t what you’d call “bad,” they’re at least undermining your success in some way. Well, I guess that’s bad.

Outside of the mundane sort of bad habits that run with your everyday existence, it seems that there’s one glaring habit that you just don’t like. And even if you don’t openly admit it, you know it’s there. Worse yet, it affects your business.

How this habit impacts your business can vary in many ways. It’s possible that it merely creates some mild inefficiency. Or perhaps it affects your sales because you’re not doing all you can to market effectively. But there is one area where its impact is inexcusable – it affects your customers.

So what if you’re a little inefficient, or falling down in your marketing? Yes, you ought to address those defects. But more importantly, if your customers are being affected by your bad habit, that definitely must change.

It’s likely that your bad habit isn’t affecting 100% of your customers, 100% of the time. If that were the case you’d be out of business. But even if it only affects a few, therein lays an opportunity for improvement.

So how do you know if your habit is affecting customers? That’s simple. They’re complaining about it. And if not directly to you; then to your vendors, employees or others you know.

It often comes out as – “He does great work, but he’s slow.” “She’s very talented, but she seems to drop the ball and never gets back to you.” “They’re really nice and easy to work with, but their attention to detail is non-existent.” 

It’s possible that you’re doing just fine with your bad habit in tact, even if you’re scaring off customers. But on some level there is a cost. It likely causes stress, or in some way is reducing your bottom line. Whatever it’s doing, it’s probably not worth ignoring.

There are lots of books on the subject of business etiquette, although I don’t think I’ve ever read one. So, I’m by no means an expert in that department. I just do what I think is “proper” based on conventional wisdom. For all I know, I could be doing lots of things wrong. That, however, doesn’t mean that I don’t have pet peeves when it comes to what other people do, or don’t do.

I’ve assumed that most people who deal with other humans understand the basic stuff, but I’m surprised by how many don’t. Perhaps they’re like me and never read one of those books.

Whatever it is, here are some behaviors that I notice quite often:

1. Not returning telephone calls.

There are few instances when it is justified to not return a telephone call at all. Even if it takes a couple of days, go with what Nike suggests – Just Do It.

2. Putting the body of an email in the “subject” line.

For casual email – ok! But not for an important email that requires much more detailed information. So put just the subject in the subject line. That’s why they designed the page that way.

3. Not calling your appointment if you’re running late.

Calling is the courteous thing to do if you’re running late to an appointment, so make sure you have the phone numbers you need to call if you’re going to be late.

Yes, these are really basic and really obvious, but I’m amazed at how often people violate these simple things. If you tend to have trouble with these, check in with yourself and be thoughtful and courteous.

I’m periodically asked to respond to a question posed by readers of the Career Builder section of the Arizona Republic newspaper, in a column known as “Ask The Experts.” Following is a recent Q&A from that column.

Question:

I recently was promoted out of the rank and file to a supervisory position. How can I gain respect and work well with my former co-workers who now report to me?

Answer:

Your first order of business will be to define what success is in your new role. From that you can set clear goals for you and your team and then lead them, not “boss” them, to fulfilling your mission.

Do this by holding a meeting and sharing your vision of success, and solicit ideas from the group on how best to get where you want to go. I also recommend that you meet with each team member individually, and ask them what you can do to help them succeed, and then do it. And most importantly, don’t forget about those things you complained about when you were peers.

Perhaps there are things that you can change that will give you instant credibility. You may not be able to do everything that they ask of you, but if they know that you care, they will be more loyal, committed and productive.