“Complaint is a door that closes opportunity.”

Do you ever notice those people who tend to complain about everything, also tend to have lots of problems in their life? I suggest that their “problems” are a product of their complaints; not the other way around.

Although I’m sometimes tempted to complain about things, I recognize that any form of judgment, criticism or complaint serves only to block what is possible. I prefer to stand back and observe; letting things happen.

I’m a proponent of affirmations. They help me stay focused on a positive and forward-thinking mindset. One of my more recent affirmations is – “I tell myself the truth in all areas of my life.”

Affirmations can “affirm” present truths, or things to which we aspire. The irony in this affirmation is that it’s not always “true.”  In this case I accept progress, and shoot for perfection.

Why is this affirmation important? We all have a tendency to lie to ourselves – often. One of the ways we use lies is to convince ourselves to settle for less than what is possible. We sell ourselves short – physically, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. That’s not ok with me, so I search myself daily for areas where I can improve. 

What are you lying to yourself about? Are you settling for less than what you know is possible?  If so, just quit lying!

As a young know-it-all early in my mortgage banking career, the President of the company where I worked would often suggest that I liked being “right.” And he would ask, “Do you want to be dead right or alive right.” I’m not sure that I cared either way, as long as I was right. 

I’ve recently observed others doing what I did in my 20’s, causing me to wonder what the “need to be right” is all about.

My educated guess is that it’s about ego, low self-esteem and self-worth, over-coming past slights, hurts and other unresolved issues. Looking back to when I was most active as a “righter,” that was all true.

My friend Craig Elias, Founder of SHIFT Selling, Inc., observed recently that, “We can be right or we can be rich (successful), but we can’t be both.” That’s exactly what my boss was asking back then.

Today, I’m interested in being successful, even though my ego still tempts me to be right.

If you find yourself choosing “right” over “rich” and want to change that, try asking more questions and opening yourself to the ideas and suggestions of others.

Letting go of the need to be right doesn’t make you wrong.  It reveals things you’ve probably not considered, which gives you more options, improves your decisions and leads to greater success than what being right makes possible.

Once again, I was asked to respond to a question posed by readers of the Career Builder section of the Arizona Republic newspaper, in a column known as “Ask The Experts.” Following is a recent Q&A from that column, which was published in the Business Gazette:

Question:

Over the past six month, I’ve attended dozens of networking events in the hope of jump-starting my job search.  Now, I’ve been out of work nearly a year and am in need of real, immediate help. How can I turn simple networking into networking/job opportunities? 

Answer:

Successful job networking is a lot like ordering lunch. Picture yourself in a deli staring at the menu board as you are asked, “What would you like?” If you know what you want, you order it; eat it, and then go on with your day. But let’s say that you have no idea what you want. Regardless of how long you stare at the menu, you are likely to go hungry.
 
Networking is no different. People are willing to help you, but you make it difficult when you can’t tell them how. In a job search you need two things - information and contacts. Networking can get you both if you’re willing to ask for help, as well as give it in return. Before you attend a networking meeting or event, clearly understand your purpose. Make it easy for people to give you exactly what you need - a contact lead or referral.

Perhaps I’m late to this party, but there’s still a lot of change being experienced by people as the economic meltdown reverberates. In the process of all the upheaval, a lot has been written about what people are doing to deal with the unwelcomed loss of jobs, money, homes, educational pursuits and dreams of a certain future.

Early in my corporate career, the idea of losing my job was outright frightening. And when I heard in my 20’s that a person my age would change jobs seven times before retirement, I was mortified. 

Since that time I did lose a job - or two. With that came an overflow of fear as I grappled with the unknown, how to hang on to what I had and what to do next. These are natural responses to both real and imagined threats. Surprisingly, I not only survived, but in many ways I thrived. Over the years, I’ve learned how to turn threats into opportunities.

Whenever we’re threatened, we have the opportunity to emotionally react to the situation, or intellectually interpret it. We can panic, get depressed, throw things and make matters worse, or we can step back, assess the situation and ask - “How can I turn this into an opportunity.” Opportunity can be something new, different or beneficial for you or others involved.

We’re all walking on somewhat of a tightrope called life. If we lean left or right, that leads to oblivion and certain death. If we stand still, we’re destined for mediocrity. What we must do if we don’t want to fall or freeze is - keep moving.